Monday, September 13, 2010

Dividing the Pot

With financial issues being cited as one of the #1 reasons that many couples get divorced, how do you think that the issue of money should be handled?  Do you think that couples should keep separate bank accounts, or combine finances?  How do you feel about each spouse having their "own" bills?  Does it matter if one spouse makes more than the other?  What about SAHMs?  What happens if one spouse loses their job?

(We understand that money can be a VERY private matter.  Please don't let that deter you from sharing your opinion!  You don't have to tell what your actual situation is, but feel free to let us know how you think it SHOULD be!)
Posted by Christina
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Mimi · 759 weeks ago

I'm a SAHM but the process was planned. Almost a year before I actually left we did a dry run and saved my salary to see if we would be able to make it on one income. It gave us a dry run and let us build up a savings account just in case. I do believe there should be 3 accounts. Each person should have their own and their should be a joint one. No matter how much each spouse makes, call me crazy but I think the man should pay the big bills and the woman the little bills if its feasible. However I do believe in flexibility and doing what makes sense at the current time. I think people failing to be flexible is the prime reason relationships don't last when it comes to finances. Just my $.02!!
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chriswife 58p · 759 weeks ago

We have our own accounts( savings for what ever you want to personally save for and checking for your own personal stuff like clothes, golf etc.). And we have the joint accounts: the checking that we pay the bills out of and the savings where we save for family stuff like vacations. We each put a certain percentage of our checks into the account based on what we make. For instance, C-Dub makes more than me, therefore, he puts in a larger amount. There really are no " his" bills and "my" bills. There is only OUR bills. Including student loans, credit cards, car notes. But I like the seperate personal accounts because he doesn't have to ask if it's ok for him to take money to play golf, and he doesn't ask me how much I spent shopping.
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Tameika · 759 weeks ago

I think if you're married, that means sharing everything yes even money. I don't really understand the you get this bill and I'll get that one. What are you roommates? Married couples should have common goals and aspirations and a unified vision. So why wouldn't money be included in that? All of our funds are joint. His is mine and mine is his (except for retirement, which can't be joint). I don't beat him in the head for buying a new pair of sneakers or some jeans and he doesn't mind if I splurge on some books or pumps because we talk about everything. Keeping our money together has forced us to communicate more openly and frequently with one another. But again, that works for us and these are my OPINIONS (I'm certainly not stating them as facts). I think each couple should decide what works best for them. I just worry that with separate accounts, some couples may be willfully hiding things from one another and that is not cool in my books. No secret accounts or cards. Everything should be out in the open for both partners to see.
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casey · 759 weeks ago

I guess this is really one of those to each his own issues. My hubby and I have a joint account and I think it makes things easier in the long run and helps us to both hold each other accountable. I handle the bills but, I try to keep my hubby aware and involved so that he too takes ownership in what we spend money on. We don't have fights over money...but, we do stress over it...for example he is dealing with TMJ medical bills right now and they are out of this world overwhelming and make me sick to my stomach. Just when I paid other things off to make our monthly debt lighter...his medical stuff took us into even greater debt. Some things you just can avoid I guess and that is when I surrender it to God and say, "God, it's not his fault, it's not my fault. We can't make this easier or fix this mess...what would you have us do?" That is where we are at right now :) .. Waiting on God. A good place to be.
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Katina · 759 weeks ago

Sharing an account is the best advice I can give. My husband and I had seperate accounts for years and he had his bills and I had mine. It looked like it worked on the outside but deep down it actually contributed to our disconnect. After a lot of drama, we finally have one account. I think letting one person be the primary check writer/balancer is a good idea but then have periodic financial meetings to discuss the budget and how things are going. We are finally moving in the same direction!
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Mrs. R · 759 weeks ago

I think one account is best. That way you can really see what you are spending your money on. It makes both of you accountable. We have cut down on a lot of foolish spending, built up our savings, and now me staying home can be a reality once I have a child. We stopped the whole my money, your money drama. It doesn't matter who makes more, it is our money. We both contribute to the household and we both have goals on where we want to be financially in 5, 10, 15 years. To get there, you have to be open and we have to budget and save all of our money as a team. When we go shopping together, we each have a budget based on our combined income and stick to it. If what we want is not in the budget, then you have to wait. Period. The ultimate goal is saving our money and moving on to bigger and better things each year. You have to be in agreement to make that happen!
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keyalus · 759 weeks ago

I don't know if it is because I got married at nearly 30, but combining our finances into a single account was never discussed. My husband also moved into the house that I owned prior to marriage so all the bills already came to me and I am setup to pay them. It just sort of made sense for him to give me some money and just keep things business as usual. We do have a joint account but it really just serves as an occasional pass through for money.

I also had a fair amount of personal debt coming into the marriage. I am open with him about it but I feel bad about making him contribute money for my past financial misdeeds - especially since I make a lot more money.
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The Baby Plan · 759 weeks ago

We have three accounts, personal ones and joint one. I think is good to have a small amount of money that can be used as one pleases. In this way each one has a little bit of freedom.
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Mrs. K · 759 weeks ago

I think what is best is what works for each couple. I don't feel there is a right answer--it is what both people agree to. Because of school debt, etc we have one joint account, joint credit card and also personal accounts for each of us. This is not a problem because we communicate and know what is going on with each other. We may combine them in the future once we are done with training and have a steady flow of cash. Bottom line: do what works and make your marriage flourish :) .
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