Tell Me Something Good!: THE Talk . . .

Thursday, September 2, 2010

THE Talk . . .

On Monday, as my husband was dealing with the extremely important fantasy football draft, I had the rare opportunity to be in possession of the remote control. As I was flipping channels, I found the Lifetime movie The Pregnancy Pact, which is Lifetime's interpretation of the true story of 18 girls at a Massachusetts high school. As I was watching, I started thinking about THE talk. Teen pregnancy rates are out of this world. Every client I interview about sexual activity tells me they've been active since about the age of 14. One of my 13 year old clients came to me one day and told me his 13 year old girlfriend WAS pregnant, but her mother made her get an abortion. (photo credit)

What is happening??? Are parents waiting too late to have the talk? Does the talk not work anymore? When did you get the talk? When/how do you plan on having it with your children?

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Leigh · 762 weeks ago

Tween/teen peer pressure can be extremely damaging to a child that is desperately trying to fit in somewhere - anywhere. Keeping your child involved in activities that they love such as sports, music and school clubs can help give them a place where they belong. Talking to your children begins in the womb and should be ongoing throughout their young lives. When parents establishes open, non-judgmental dialogue with their children early and often, the child will feel confident that they can come to the parent and have candid discussions about their feelings, hormonal urges, pressures and their choices (good, bad or indifferent). Many parents delay “the talk” or any dialogue (because it makes them uncomfortable) until, the teen years with the expectation that all of a sudden the child will respect their teachings and obey. Unfortunately, in many cases, this effort is too little too late.

Just my little option.
Leigh (from MBC)
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citymouse · 762 weeks ago

We have sons that range from 15 to 23 and have been having The Talk with them on an on-going basis since before they knew what The Talk really was. I think it's important to educate our kids and we as parents must do it... not rely on the school or some other agency.

Stopping by from SITS.
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Babes about Town · 762 weeks ago

I saw that programme and boy did it freak me out. Sometimes I feel lucky having boys but we can't forget it's equally important to talk to our sons about their responsibilities. I make sure to teach my boys about their bodies, using 'correct' names where possible and also teaching them about private parts early (my eldest is four). I do think the 'talk' is an ongoing discussion that should start as early as possible, using age-appropriate language and a focus on respect for self and others. I really don't get the idea that 'sex education' might somehow lead to promiscuity, it's sort of counter-intuitive.
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1 reply · active 762 weeks ago

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Ms. Understood · 762 weeks ago

I'm so glad you touched on that point. Many parents of boys don't feel as worried (since they don't physically become pregnant). But pregnancy isn't the only thing out there. Some diseases are just as permanent as a baby.
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Natalie · 762 weeks ago

That's definitely good for us to think about in the back of our heads and I really want to hear how others have approached this (my kids are only 2 & 4). I think the idea of keeping your children very involved in school, sports, and the community is certainly a good way. That's how my parents kept me from getting into the wrong stuff. It's scary how young kids are doing things these days. I didn't even have my first kiss until 14 or 15.
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MishMish · 762 weeks ago

Oh man...my little ones are still both under 4 so we haven't even thought about this conversation yet. I was 6 when my mother talked to me about it and it was all just so matter of fact - just "this is how it's done" and "don't ever do it"...Ha ha!

I don't have a good plan for when we should have this talk with our children - I think it really depends on the child and their individual maturity as to when it's the right time. I agree that keeping them highly involved in activities like sports and other school functions is a good way to keep them on the right track. Keeping them active in church and surrounded by people of like minded values is also important in my mind.

My neighbor has two teenage girls and they are awesome young ladies - I watch how she is with them and tell her all the time when my daughter is a teenager I'll be coming to her for advice! Draw on those who have been there before you!!

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casey · 762 weeks ago

I'll be honest...i have a pretty strong opinion on this subject...though I totally respect differing opinions and realize there is more than one cause for these mind blowing teen statistics. I cannot emphasize enough how much the insanely sexually charged TV shows, magazines and movies are impacting our kids!! I used to study this in college and there were really good surveys done that back this up as more than just a hunch. Kids are seeing teen drinking, sex, threesomes, drug use, profanity etc. on MTV, reality shows sitcoms etc. FAR too much and depending on the household it can be something they begin watching at super early age because we just don't think it's a big deal as parents but, it is a HUGE Deal! I was not allowed to watch MTV at all when I was growing up nor was I allowed to watch any shows that weren't PG so to speak. I didn't have my first kiss until I was 17 and it was worth the wait..I married that guy 4.5 years later and still love him to pieces 10 years later. CAll me mold fashioned by todays standards but, sometimes old is not such a bad thing!
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chriswife 58p · 762 weeks ago

I think you should have the talk as soon as possible. Start little parts of the talk when our children are young and keep the conversation ongoing. Part of the problem is that parents don't want to have the talk in fear that having the talk will cause their kids to want to have sex. But lots of these kids get pregnant becuase of sheer ignorance. I can't tell you how many pregnant 16 year olds I see at work who are just ignorant about how they got there.( I mean really, why is a 16 year old calling her vagina a pocketbook? Teach these children the REAL names for their body parts!!!)
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1 reply · active 762 weeks ago

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Ms. Understood · 762 weeks ago

Um . . . what? Her pocketbook? She said this in a medical setting? Wow.
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Ms. Understood · 762 weeks ago

My parents' sex talk was really short and probably only spoken once. "Don't do it." I can't say that it was highly effective. It really does scare me how early children are engaging in this behavior. I used to think that the only night a parent needed to worry about was the dreaded prom night, but kids are engaging in these acts in middle school. Kids are getting raped at school (google it). It is imperative to talk your kids as early has possible. Having the talk at 16 years old isn't cutting it anymore.
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MsBabyPlan · 762 weeks ago

I never had the talk but my love for magazines helped me get the right ideas. But when I have kids I would love to talk to them about it before it is too late :)
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luvlymskrissy 70p · 761 weeks ago

yea I touched on this one my blog last week or so. I think I made a lot of people think about when they want to have " the talk" with their children. I think people need to start having that talk early and often. Make sure you're kids know whats what but also don't make them feel like being sexual is wrong. That can scar a person. Also don't tell them NOT to do it. Give them the tools they need in order to be smart and to protect themselves should they decide to have sex. My mom never told me don't do it. She always just said wait until I was ready. And when all my friends were doing it, I wasn't because I wasn't ready for that yet. I just say parents shouldn't act like sex doesn't happen or even act as if it'll just go away if they don't talk about it. Like I said in my blog, My ex just because a grandfather. . . at 31!
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2 replies · active 761 weeks ago

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Ms. Understood · 761 weeks ago

Isn't it crazy!! Grandfather at 31!! When I was young I had a friend who had a pregnancy scare at like 15/16. Her mother was 30, her grandmother was 45. Talk about vicious cycle.
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krissy · 761 weeks ago

Yea its a cycle and a sad one. But I truly feel is parents weren't do afraid to address it openly things wouldn't be so crazy. If you were a teen mom the best thing u can do is talk to your kids early and explain to them how stupid you were for having sex so early and how hard it is being a teen parent. " don't do it" isn't going to cut it.
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Thursday, September 2, 2010

THE Talk . . .

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