Monday, August 23, 2010

Is there a "right time" . . . .

 
 . . . to get married??  Is there a right age?  20's?  30's?  40's???  Should you complete your educational goals first?  Buy you own place? Travel the world? 

What do you think?  Is there are age that is better for marriage and what did/would you need to accomplish in your life in order to be ready for marriage?  How long is long enough to date before you should be saying I Do?

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Posted by Ms. Understood
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David Patrick · 764 weeks ago

I wouldn't say there is a right "age" to get married, but there is a certain level of maturity that is neccessary. And most people think they are mature enough for marriage and they probably are not. As far as accomplishments go, you should do what wouldn't be a distraction to your marriage. Some stuff you can do together married, but there are other things that you need to get out the way for you.

I would advice lots of pre-marital counseling. My wife and I are developing a pre-marital program that will really put the couple thru the ringer so they make no mistake and are thoroughly prepared.

How long is long enough to date is really depends on the couple. I would say that a year would be a benchmark first. You have to be able to see how that person behaves in every possible scenario. Two years would probably be better.
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luvlymskrissy 70p · 764 weeks ago

i totally agree with this!
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K. Rock · 764 weeks ago

There is no template that works for everyone. I say get married only when you find the RIGHT persone (which is different from "any" person). For me, getting married young worked out. It defnitely has had its disadvantages (like anything) but overall it is the best thing I have ever done.

People are different. Some want to have it all together before marriage and some want to grow financially together with their partner. Some want to be well traveled as a single person, others want someone to share those experiences with. I think the most important thing is to marry the right person. The time doesn't make a difference.
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Audrey · 764 weeks ago

I agree with everything David Patrick said especially the part about maturity. It has a lot to do with being ready for marriage.
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-CK · 764 weeks ago

So I guess the question becomes who is the RIGHT person and when is the RIGHT time?
I love the quote from Ever After:

"Henry: Well then how can you be certain to find them? And if you do find them, are they really the one for you or do you only think they are? And what happens if the person you're supposed to be with never appears, or, or she does, but you're too distracted to notice?
Leonardo da Vinci: You learn to pay attention. " (taken from imbd.com)

Notice what works for you and when things go well and try to make that atmosphere/person in your life happen more often.
And most, most importantly, pray about it. And pay attention to Heavenly Father's guidance.
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Margaret · 764 weeks ago

I personally don't think people should get married before 25. I got married at 22 and now I am wishing that I hadn't do it because I wasn't grown up enough to know what I was doing. Kids need to enjoy being young and just have fun!
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chriswife 58p · 764 weeks ago

It's all about the right person at the right time. You can meet the right person at the wrong time, and vice versa. The key is to know the difference.
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Yakini · 764 weeks ago

For me I wanted to at least complete my educational goals, because I knew once I got married i wanted to expand our family (almost right away) and i didnt want to do any of that while still in school. But everyone's situation is different, and that's what worked best for me!
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surprisedmama 2p · 764 weeks ago

Like others on here, I also believe it has to be with the right person at the right time. When my boyfriend and I first found out that we were expecting, our families really put on the pressure for us to get married right away, however, I am so glad that we stood our ground and grew together in our relationship instead of just jumping into a marriage for the sake of not having a child out of wedlock (even though he was conceived that way). I feel like when it's right, you will know, no matter how old you are.
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Mrs. R · 764 weeks ago

The best thing you can do is toss all of your "to do by this age"list out the window. If you are living your life to the fullest and concentrating on your goals, the right person will come along. I believe light attracts light and you will find someone who will be more than happy to share this journey with you. If that is completing your undergraduate/graduate education, signing up for a new hobby, or purchasing a house, all of this can be done with someone by your side.

How long should you date before marriage? Well that is up to the person. Truth be told, you will never know someone through and through. There will always be something new you learn about your spouse as you grow together. My parents dated 6 months and got married and they have been together close to 40 yrs. I have friends who dated 9 yrs, got married and are now divorced. I think it is important you receive counseling, but at the end of the day, you have to trust your instincts, be realistic, and listen to your heart.
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Christina 47p · 764 weeks ago

I exactly agree with this! Couldn't have said it any better!
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-CK · 764 weeks ago

I like this comment.
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keyalus · 764 weeks ago

I got married rather late in life @30. I wasn't waiting to meet any goals in particular - I just never met anyone marriage-worthy.

If I could choose an age to get married, I would have preferred my mid-20s. My parents got married at 21 and are still married. However, it seems so strange to me that my mom has never had her own apt or done all those independent woman things that I did. Waiting until the 30s was fine because I was mature and settled, but I feel pressure to hurry up and finish having kids at a reasonable age. I would have liked to have had a few years to just enjoy being married.
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