Thursday, August 26, 2010

When homewreckers attack . . .

Angenlina Jolie . . .  Alicia Keys . . . Gabrielle Union . . . Fantasia Barrino . . . All of these these women have been dubbed "homewreckers."  Are they really???

Don't get me wrong.  They met married men, got involved and maintained relationships with these men.  One got married and two of them have children (one currently pregnant) with those married men.  But why are THEY the homewreckers?  When did they take the vows?  When did they promise "forsaking all others . . . I choose you"?  Granted, they could exercise a level of morality and recognize their actions were wrong, but none of these women were married.  Some how they are responsible for breaking up households, that they did not even set up.  Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren's divorce was finalized on 8/23/10.  Tiger has been called a number of different things, but I have yet to hear him be called a homewrecker.  Ummm . . . isn't what he did the epitome of wrecking his home?  Is there some sort of societal double standard that absolves husbands' of their responsibility of maintaining their marriages/households and somehow all the responsibility lies on outside entities?  What do you think?
Posted by Ms. Understood
Labels:

Comments (15)

Loading... Logging you in...
Dashboard | Edit profile | Logout
  • Logged in as
+1 Vote up Vote down
Jael Custom Designs's avatar - Go to profile

Jael Custom Designs · 764 weeks ago

O feel like it takes two to tango! I'm sure that these women knew what they were getting involved in. I do think that the guys definitely need to take responsibility for their actions but, honestly if they were so unhappy in their marriages I think they could have done a better job exiting their current situations before they got into something else, and brought another woman into the mix.

True... we don't know the circumstances for each situation or how these men were being treated for them to even want to step out on their significant other but, Alicia Keys was pregnant and engaged before Swizz Beatz Divorce was finalized and it seems married within a few weeks of that.

Fantasia's stuff was in tabloids and she was denying it all and saying they were just FRIENDS until she couldn't do it anymore. I believe she knew he was married and didn't care but, that's just my opinion. The wife claims that Fantasia had words with her and says she said something to the effect "If you were taking care of your man like you were supposed to, he wouldn't be with me" she's got balls! (wifey claims she can prove it!)

I live in the state of NC and we are one of the few states that recognizes "Alienation of Affection" or "Criminal Conversation" BASICALLY, we can sue the mistress or guy involved if we can prove adultery! Fantasia is messing with the wrong one in the right state!

A woman in Raleigh, NC was awarded 9 million earlier this year from the accused mistress! Sued her for "Alienation of Affection" Proved it, had the bomb lawyer and won the case! That's my shero! Link: http://www.upi.com/Top_News/US/2010/03/22/Woman-w...
My recent post Mom Bloggers Needed to Test Products ASAP
Loading...
+2 Vote up Vote down
deleted3796699's avatar - Go to profile

deleted3796699 80p · 763 weeks ago

You make very good points. I have really disliked some of these women for being "homewreckers." I do agree with Jael that these women knew what they were getting into, so morally they were wrong. I break it down to its base: If these women can disrespect another woman and "contribute" to the breakup of a marriage, what does that say about their level of morality and commitment to their own relationships. I consider it an ego problem, especially in the case of Angelina Jolie. She is a serial "homewrecker". First Billy Bob and Laura Dern, and then Brad and Jennifer Aniston. She obviously considers herself "superior" to these women and sets her sights (whatever the cost) of getting what she wants. Karma is a bitch though, and what usually comes around, goes around. If their "man" will cheat for them, he would cheat again.
My recent post K of C-Brooks-Cornell BBQ Chicken
+1 Vote up Vote down
Veronica's avatar - Go to profile

Veronica · 763 weeks ago

Stopping by from SITS. Great post. I think both parties are equally wrong in a situation like this, but "homewrecker" I feel is a term reserved only for women. So, the question is: What's the equivalent term for men?
My recent post A good friend is cheaper than therapy
+1 Vote up Vote down
Eclipsed's avatar - Go to profile

Eclipsed · 763 weeks ago

Stopping by from SITS.

I think that it's both parties responsibility to take on the label of home wrecker because that's exactly what they did.
My recent post Growing Pains
Loading...
+2 Vote up Vote down
danimomof2's avatar - Go to profile

danimomof2 1p · 763 weeks ago

It is obviously both parties fault and labeling should be equal. I don't think people outside of their circle should really judge any of them though. We don't know exactly what is going on, how they truly feel, or what we would do if we were really in their shoes.

Stopping by from MBC
My recent post Inspirational video - love it!
+1 Vote up Vote down
keyalus's avatar - Go to profile

keyalus · 763 weeks ago

I doubt that a man would refer to any of these women as a "homewrecker". It seems like only women judge other women in that way. There's "mommy wars" but no "daddy wars" because men just don't roll like that. It seems sort of accepted and understood on a certain level that men will cheat because they are men. It is this other woman (the homewreckers) responsibility to prevent this man from doing it. The idea that if the woman wouldn't have been willing, the man would not have done it and all would be well.

I think both parties deserve blame, but the cheating party ALWAYS deserves more blame. He is ultimately the one who took vows and who knows what he is tellling the other woman? That is probably why it is best to stay out of messy "I'm separated" situations!
My recent post Wordless Wednesday
Loading...
+2 Vote up Vote down
chriswife's avatar - Go to profile

chriswife 58p · 763 weeks ago

It take TWO!
There really is a double standard when it comes to this topic. Men are NEVER seen as the homewrecker. They are "just doing what women let them do"(yes, I've heard this one). But really, if a man is married, and breaks up his marriage to date, have sex with, father another child with some other chick, then isn't that by definition a "homewrecker?"
My recent post August 26th
+1 Vote up Vote down
Margaret's avatar - Go to profile

Margaret · 763 weeks ago

I think that the one that cheats is the home wrecker. Yes the other women shouldn't be messing with married men but in most cases the one that is married seeks out the other person not the other way around.
My recent post Writers Workshop
+1 Vote up Vote down
Mrs. R's avatar - Go to profile

Mrs. R · 763 weeks ago

I think both parties are at fault. However, if a person who is single decides to get involved with a married man, that is just beyond explanation. Why in the world do you think he would be faithful to you? Is there not enough single men around? The same with a man who tries to date a married woman. I think people are just really upset at the single person because they can choose to walk away, instead they justify what they do and expect the public to bless their union. Both parties are in the wrong and pathetic in my eyes.
My recent post Sharing the Blog Love
Loading...
+2 Vote up Vote down
luvlymskrissy's avatar - Go to profile

luvlymskrissy 70p · 763 weeks ago

Let me start off by saying, In all of these instances, except for Angelina no one knows the REAL situations. She's the only woman we know for sure was with a man who was current in a relationship. So she's the only woman who was wrong in my eyes and that's merely my opinion.

I think if a man is separated from his wife, not living with her or sleeping with her and there is no possibility of reconciling and the divorce is imminent then both husband and wife are allowed and entitled to move on with their lives.

If spouses cheat on each other or a man cheats on his wife who has no idea( and even if she did) he's completely wrong. If he gets involved with a woman who knows full well he's married and goes home to his wife, then she is just as wrong as he is.

I'm sure we all know that people aren't always honest and 100% isn't always disclosed. Things are omitted purposely. I have been on that end. Dating a man who was living with a woman and they had a child but he failed to mention that to me for the couple of months that we dated. That is, until he let it slip.
My recent post A little bit of this A little bit of that
Loading...
+2 Vote up Vote down
preshusmedotcom's avatar - Go to profile

preshusmedotcom 29p · 763 weeks ago

After reading this post I'm thinking that the men in question should be the ones labeled homewrecker!
My recent post Doin’ it like a normal pregnant chick
+1 Vote up Vote down
Sammy 's avatar - Go to profile

Sammy · 763 weeks ago

Stopping by from SITS and I have to agree with you... technically they are the ones wrecking their home!
+1 Vote up Vote down
MsBabyPlan's avatar - Go to profile

MsBabyPlan · 763 weeks ago

The man should keep his thingy in his pants. The woman should cover her cleavage or just stop saying silly words that can deceive.

Both parties are to blame and both deserve the label homewreckers because they both ended in the sin together.

But again I will just wish them happiness because if ruining another person's happiness make them feel better, then karma is the answer.
Loading...
+2 Vote up Vote down
Christina's avatar - Go to profile

Christina 47p · 763 weeks ago

I think you have to be a part of the home to wreck it. Unless the other woman KNOWS that she is dealing with a married man, and continues the relationship anyway, I dont think she should hold ANY of the blame. I didnt take vows with her, did I?
Yes, I believe that there are some men who are just cheaters, but I think that wives want to place all of the burden of fidelity of the husband. What are YOU doing to keep your husband faithful to your marriage? If all he comes home to is nagging, complaints, and no sex, chances are, he's going to seek it somewhere else. Im not implying that a wife should be a doormat, but seriously, would YOU want to be faitful to you?
My point is, if the situation were to ever occur in my house, I wouldnt be looking out of the window for someone to blame, because the only people that can break up a marriage is a husband and a wife, in my opinion.

Post a new comment

Comments by

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)