Monday, August 16, 2010

Power plays in the bedroom

photo credit

I was talking to Audrey of I'm So Aud (@Im_So_Aud) about the forever of marriage, blending lives and what throws a wrench in the plans.  I mentioned that using sex as a power tool was one of the many things that can break down marriage.

Let's get real here.  When he comes home late after hanging out with the fellas, he forgot to pick up the dry cleaning like you asked (again) and for the third day in a row you tripped over his shoes that he left at the door, do you suddenly "have a headache"?  If he doesn't do what you want him to do, do you ration the goodies? Is there ever a time bedroom power plays are okay?
Posted by Ms. Understood
Labels:

Comments (9)

Loading... Logging you in...
Dashboard | Edit profile | Logout
  • Logged in as
Commenting Disabled
Further commenting on this page has been disabled by the blog admin.
Loading...
+2 Vote up Vote down
chriswife's avatar - Go to profile

chriswife 58p · 765 weeks ago

Well. I don't exactly "ration" out the goodies. I never lie about it though. I always say things like" I would have more energy if I didn't have to clean up after the baby and YOU. " Sex can be a powerful weapon. I think you have to be careful about using it as one. My female relatives always taught that you have to "train" a man. What, is he a puppy? I don't have time to trrain grown folks, or ration out my goodies. Takes too much time and effort. I do, on the other hand, give rational explainations as to why he will or won't be getting any. If I'm mad, I'm mad. And he knows it. And understands fully without asking that he won't be getting any that night because I'm not in the mood( I can't be mad and have sex, can you?) o.0
My recent post Day 11- A tale of two brothers
Reply
1 reply · active 765 weeks ago
+1 Vote up Vote down
Ms. Understood's avatar - Go to profile

Ms. Understood · 765 weeks ago

Girl, I'm with you. . . If I'm looking at your shirt on the floor . . . . is that supposed to turn me on? Negative.
My recent post Its so hard to say
Reply
+1 Vote up Vote down
Margaret's avatar - Go to profile

Margaret · 765 weeks ago

If he pissed me off then he doesn't get any until I am happy with him again!
My recent post Day 13- A Letter To A Band
Reply
Loading...
+2 Vote up Vote down
preshusmedotcom's avatar - Go to profile

preshusmedotcom 29p · 765 weeks ago

I agree with roses daughter. And at this point hubby can pretty much tell by my mood if he's gonna get any. He knows what he has to do, what turns me on. Basically anything to help around the house so that I'm not so tired at the end of the day is the way to go!
My recent post New research on Sleep Training
Reply
+1 Vote up Vote down
Ms. Understood's avatar - Go to profile

Ms. Understood · 765 weeks ago

I used to regularly participate in a message board where there was a challenge to give it up when he wanted it. Essentially, the premise was that when your husband is physically satisfied, he will make all the attempts in the world to make sure you are emotionally satisfied. The reverse happen more often. You see him out there mowing the lawn and raking the leaves and you think, oh look at that man out there, soon as he gets out the shower, I'm jumping on him. If the bedroom action took place first, possible, maybe he'd be more likely to do the task.

*disclaimer, I never did said challenge. I'm not wearing a chastity belt, but I'm also not the goody fairy. Just throwing things I've been exposed to out there.
My recent post Its so hard to say
Reply
Loading...
+2 Vote up Vote down
Christina's avatar - Go to profile

Christina 47p · 765 weeks ago

Ladies, ladies, look into my eyes. We are >here< lol. Pulling your dirty socks out of my baby's mouth is getting you nothing but a crazy look, lol. Im up front about it though, no faked headaches over here. I have enough real ones, lmbo, I do not need karma knocking on my door over some mess!
In most cases, if hubby knows im really mad, he knows to miss me with any kind of groping or hinting at anything more intimate than sitting on the same couch, lmbo. To be fair though, a lot of times I've been annoyed, and hubby (apparently) didnt get the hint, and I ended up just going with it anyway, and it ended up being AWESOME, lol. Like maybe he DID know that he had messed up, and was trying to make up for it?
.
My recent post Being Ms Jones- Week 34
Reply
+1 Vote up Vote down
Jonesie's avatar - Go to profile

Jonesie · 765 weeks ago

I don't think it's a power play but if I don't feel connected to you then I'm not in it and I can't fake it. Getting on nerves on a consistent basis will make me feel separated from you and will only cause me to shut down. Ignoring how I feel about a situation, not picking up after yourself and making me do it, making me feel like I'm in this alone will shut the cooch doors QUICK!
I wouldn't use sex as a ploy like, if you put away the laundry that I washed and carried up you'll get lucky tonite. NO I'm NOT DOIN IT lol
Reply
+1 Vote up Vote down
Kai's avatar - Go to profile

Kai · 765 weeks ago

Following you from MBC. Please visit me at www.bargainmom.net.
My recent post FTD Good Neighbor Day 9-1- FREE Flowers!
Reply
Loading...
+2 Vote up Vote down
luvlymskrissy's avatar - Go to profile

luvlymskrissy 70p · 765 weeks ago

yea i don't play those type games. I wouldn't want him doing that to me for any reason so I wouldn't do it to him. And I'm way too sexual to go withholding something EYE want! lol. So he can go pick up those socks after I put in work. lol Im Jus Sayin!
Reply

Comments by

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)